38 yer olds are good kisserssss
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
