I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
