every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
