My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
