Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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