Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
