Got a toothbrush?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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