Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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