My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
