so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
