i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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