Christians are straight up FREAKS
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
