that's an acceptable place to lick
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
