if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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