I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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