pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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