We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
