I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
