Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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