you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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