You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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