Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
