Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
