i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
