david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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