also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dick very happy bro
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
