i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
