it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
