some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you had me at cake vodka
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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