It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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