There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
