Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I could fuck to npr.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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