So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
