You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
