you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
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