Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
