Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Randomize
