i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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