she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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