Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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