it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
