Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
