Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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