Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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