you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
