You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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