So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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