Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
