eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
