In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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