I wish i was in the wii world.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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