just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
