Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
