Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
