'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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