FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
