He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
