I want to have your abortion
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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