Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize