And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
