I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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