is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
