You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
