I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
if only i could text you this smell
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
