No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
